Mixed emotions of coming home for a few weeks....but mainly WAHOOO I can not WAIT!!!!

Well I am currently in Baghdad, Iraq, or better yet, I am at Camp Victory Base, Iraq.  It is hot here, but it is also beautiful.  There are palm trees, palaces and so far it has been absolutely quiet.  I am enjoying it.  I wonder if it is because it is something different from what I have seen in the last 3 months or if I would truly enjoy it better than where I am currently deployed to?  I am here for a court-martial proceeding that should only last about 30 minutes maximum, and even that is if there were something crazy to happen.  In a few days I should be heading home.  There are mixed emotions about this.  Obviously most of my feelings are, I can not wait, I am so excited.  But at the same time, I worry about these things, as simple as they are, yes I worry:

(by the way they are not in any type of order)

1.)  I worry that my dog is not going to recognize me or remember me and that will break my heart.  Since before I left, he was my love able baby boy who would run to his mommy for love when his daddy would yell at him.

2.)  That with the time change and all the traveling the first couple days I am going to be so tired that I am not going to want to do anything (although I don't this will happen)

3.)  That I will go to the casino and blow a lot of money and even though I am having fun doing it, that I will end up regretting it later.  (but the again, I am making more money while I am deployed and I still have many months to make back all the money I lose).

4.)  That my boyfriend won't be used to me being around and things will be a little weird.  Not saying that he does not love me or that our relationship is not great, but I have been gone for 3 months.  He has been living his life without me there and our relationship has been through emails and phone calls.  So it can be a hard adjustment for some.  I really think we will be so fine.  It will be like the honeymoon phase all over again.  I know I can't wait to be in his arms again....I love him so much.

5.)  That when it is time for me to come back, I will be extremely sad and a little depressed.  I know I signed up for this and I love my job and I love doing what I can to help protect this country.  But at the same time, it is hard to leave the ones you love behind.  Especially not knowing how long you are really going to be gone.  I have been able to keep a positive attitude and stay focused while I am here.  I just don't want to lose that.  

Mostly, I am just excited about coming home, even though it is for such a short period of time.   I look forward to the beach, going camping, cuddling with my wonderful boyfriend and my big puppy, sleeping in my boyfriends arms, seeing my family and having a good time at the casino with them, and just spending quality time with my family...seeing my friends, and hopefully seeing Heather and Brads new baby girl Graycie (if she decided to enter the world by then)..get my hair, nails and feet done (this is one of my top priorities)..I know that I will not get to do everything that I want while I am home,but hopefully I can do most of it.....And that I can enjoy all of it....

The traveling, yeah it sucks, but I think because I am so excited, that it will fly by!!! Or at least I hope that it will....I hope that I do not run into a whole lot of delays, cancellations or lay overs from hell....but if I do, it is okay, as long as I make it back into my baby's arms!!!!!  These next couple days can not go by quick enough...I mean I was asked to stay here longer to cover down on another court-martial which means that maybe I could just stay here and leave from here!!! Although I am missing my two Cardinals shirts that I really want....But who knows...we will see what the Army has in store for me!!!

Well that is all for now...I will try and post more often!!!

The distance

Finding out that I was going to deploy to Afghanistan in September was very exciting news for me.  I called my family and told them and they just did not seem as excited as I was.  But they support me in whatever I do.  I knew that since the deployment was not scheduled for a year, things could change.  In early November I remember being told that things had changed.  Well yes, things had really changed.  Instead of deploying in September 2011 I was deploying in February 2011.  Which was just a few months later.  I was still very excited as I did join the Army to defend my country.  And I have wanted the chance to deploy for years.  I knew that I would miss my family, but I have not really lived close to them in years. 

I felt lucky, I did not have a husband or a long term boyfriend to leave behind.  Which would make it a lot easier to leave.

Not even a week later, I was flirting with a cute guy that I had talked to a couple of times at my friends house.  I had told her that he was cute and wanted to know what he was all about.  Well upon arriving to my friends house, her husband told me that this friend had told him that he thought I was cute.  Well, after several hours of talking, flirting and hanging out with this guy, named Will, he told me that he was interested in getting to know me.  I can admit, I had been drinking all I said was "yeah." Probably does not help that I am very shy when it comes to guys.  I ended up hurting my collar bone that night and Will took care of me.  Obviously since we had been drinking everyone stayed at the house.  In the morning, Will woke me up to make sure I was okay and got me some aspirin.  

I remember wanting to leave the house and go home and shower and lay down because my arm and my shoulder were hurting so bad.  But I did not want to leave without Will's number.  But I was too shy to ask.  He was pacing back and fourth in the house saying that he was going to leave.  Funny enough, I had my friends husband ask him if he was going to give me his number.   my phone was dead, so I could not get his number, but I gave him mine.  Honestly, I did not think I would hear from him.  Well not even an hour after I got home, I receieved a text message checking on how my shoulder was.  We exchanged texts all throughout the day and planned on going to dinner the next day after work.  Honestly, I had no intention of having a relationship with this guy, but he was someone to hang out with and he looked good.  Well the next morning when I woke up, I could barely move my arm and it hurt like hell.  I went to the doc and they told me to drink water.  After talking to a medical officer they told me that I needed to go back to the doctor.  Problm was, it wasn't until about 1700.  Thats when I should have been going home getting ready to go to dinner.  Well of course, my phone was not getting very good reception to explain to Will.  But when I did, he offered to bring me Carrabas to the hospital. That definetly brought a smile to my face.  But instead he waited for me and took me to dinner, even when I was wearing a sling on my arm looking like a dork.  He even fed me, since I could not raise my arm.  I was like WOW, this guy is a sweetheart.  But again, I just wanted to hang out and be friends.  Over the next few days, we exchanged texts all throughout the day, had lunch together and would spend the evenings together.  I enjoyed my time with him more and more.  

I remember getting ready to head to Louisiana to see my family and did not really want to leave.  I enjoyed hanging out with Will.  But, we texted the whole entire time I was driving.  I remember when he asked me to be his GF on Thanksgiving.  I was so happy! 

Over the next several weeks everyone told me that I was so giddy and so happy.  He would bring me starbucks when I was having a bad day or he would buy me flowers just because.  How could I not fall in love with him.  He is the most caring, trusthworthy, funny, attractive, loving and adorable guy I have ever met.  

He showed up to my work one day and had this frantic look on his face and he asked me if we could talk in the conference room.  I thought for sure, he was going to break up with me.  Especially after he told me to shut the door.  But no, he had brought me in there to tell me he loved me.  I was so happy, I was speechless.  Literally I did not say anything.   

For Christmas/New Years we went to visit my family and his family.  Everyday, I just continued to love him more and more.  But just a little more than a month after we got back, I was to deploy for a year.  That was scary.

Well, now I am here and it has just made me realize more and more everyday, that I truly have found the most amazing guy.  When he wakes up in the morning, he sends me an email.  When he goes on lunch we exchange emails and when he gets home at night, we sit and talk on Skype for hours.  On the weekends he come and Skypes with me first thing in the morning and then several hours throughout the day and sends me emails on facebook all day.  He sends me packages almost every week.   And he even puts our puppy on Skype to talk to his mommy!

It is just weird to me, because I was so scared to open myself up and allow myself to love him knowing that I was about to deploy.  But he is what makes this deployment easier.  Even through the distance and all these miles, he always continues to put a smile on my face.  And makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive.  

What I have learned from this:  There are always risk that are worth taking.  Sometimes the things that scare us the most are something that we should face and in the end, that risk can make you happier than ever!!!  I love you Will :)  

Will females ever grow up?

So here it is:  My first blog.  And it has to do with my favorite subject, FEMALES!

Why is it that females are so catty and so jealous of one another?  It doesn't matter if it is in high school, the military, girl scouts, band camp, on the internet, woman are so damn catty and refuse to just get along with other females.  And why are women so obsessed with drama?

So, here I am deployed, thousands of miles away from my friends and family, just trying to make the time go by faster.  I get assigned a roommate and I am okay with her.  We get our room all setup and clean it and things are great.  We spend a few days like this, happy with absolutely no issues, because we are both mature adults who respect one another's property and privacy.  We also realize that there are not many joys in being deployed.  So we make the best of it.  After a few days, I am asked to move my room, because a female SPC (lower rank Soldier, not an NCO) can not seem to get along with her roommate.  Trying to be the nice woman, I agree to it, because as long as you are not all up in my space, I don't mind living with anybody.  Plus the girl who they asked me to room with is cool as hell.  So I agreed.  The SPC who threw the fit about her living situation was throwing a fit that she had to move her stuff, but eventually moved.

Well, me and my new roommate have the room situated and are all happy.  Things are great and we get along great.  We even share the goodies that we have in our room and we stay up late watching movies or talking every night.  Well today, I am approached by an NCO asking about the problems I am having with my new roommate.  I am like NO, we are great.  He explains to my that ANOTHER female (mind you who doesnt live in our room) went and reported that me and my roommate are having issues and that we don't want to be roomed together.  WHAT THE HECK?  I was like um, that is not true at all.  So here is what I am getting at....why would that other female find it her business to go and let someone know about "our supposed issues in the room."  Oh yes, that is right, because females are always in everyones business.  I cant stand it.  And because that female wanted to create drama that did not exist.

We are here, deployed in Iraq to do our mission and leave.  So why cant these females, act like GROWN adults or Soldiers and be mature for the next 12 months.  We have not even been here for 2 weeks and these females are constantly talking bad about one another and being catty as hell and accusing each other of stuff.  It is so annoying.  We are Soldiers, male or female.

I am not even going to confront the girl who said that to the NCO, because I am not going to play into her game and stoop to her level.  I just wish that females would learn to keep their traps shut.  If it does not involve you, then butt the hell out.  And keep my name out of your mouth.

I think about TV and the shows that they have and even TV makes females this way.  I think back to Saved By the Bell and how the rumors and drama was always started by the females.  We are supposed to be the mature ones.  But sometimes I question how these woman are raising their children, being so immature theirselves.  The sad thing is, it is not just the teenage girls that are like this, it is women all throughout their life time.

Put away the claws hunny and step aside, because this female is not here to play your games or give into your drama.  So do yourself a favor and talk about someone else.  Or better yet, find something worthwhile to entertain yourself.  Because I will not entertain drama or Bullshit!!!!